That Normal Life We Crave
by T-c3
Summary: Their camaraderie may look superficial to an outsider, but it will last even until death. MattMello friendship oneshot


A/N: This is a look at Mello's and Matt's friendship as 11-year-olds and, briefly, as young adults. It's not meant to be a pairing fic, but I guess you can look at it that way if you really want to.

Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.

* * *

The two boys were out in the large field behind Wammy's House, trying to catch frogs by a pond they had found some weeks ago. Both were crouched by the edge, the redhead holding a jar that already contained three. They were quiet, their eyes carefully scanning the pond's surface for any movement. Eventually, Matt sighed and fell back onto his rear. Then, after staring at the small frogs for a moment, he flipped the jar over and released them.

The blonde looked behind him at his friend and jumped up. "Hey! What are you doing? I got my pants soaked getting those!" he shouted, putting his hands on his hips.

Matt set the jar down and peered up lazily at the irritated Mello. "We've been out here for over an hour and only caught three. Three's not gonna do much, so I let them go." He scratched his head and looked over at the aging building. "I wanna go back inside."

"This was my idea. I say when we go back," he stated obstinately.

The redhead stood, brushing off his pants. "Mello, what's three frogs gonna do to Near? Frogs probably don't even bother him. I'm gonna go play my games."

Mello went over to him and grabbed the front of his shirt, his eyes narrowing slightly. "Are you saying my idea is stupid, you game freak?"

Releasing himself from the boy's grip, he spat back, "Yeah, I am. I'm really bored, so I'm going."

"Matt!" He stomped his foot, the anger bubbling in his stomach. "Get back here!"

"You're so stupid," the redhead mumbled to himself.

But Mello heard him. He rushed at the boy and tackled him to the ground. Then Mello tore his goggles off and chucked them into the pond.

Wide, green eyes stared at him, then at his goggles' new home. When the blonde crawled off of him in triumph, Matt slowly got to his feet, taking in a ragged breath. He gazed at the pond, wondering how deep it was, but as he began walking towards it, he heard Mello scoff at him.

Matt was so tired of the blonde expecting him to follow every command. He didn't mind being a follower, but there were limits. And now they were arguing because of frogs? Well, not exactly frogs. If Matt really wanted to get down to it, Near was the reason they were bickering, as was usually the case. But, this time, he just didn't feel like yielding to Mello.

In one swift movement, his fist connected with the blonde's face. Then he kicked off his shoes and tentatively waded through the mucky water.

Mello stared after him in disbelief. It was extremely rare for his lethargic friend to do something with an intense emotion behind it. But his astonishment soon faded, and he went after the redhead, grabbing him by the back of his collar and dragging him out.

"Leave me alone, Mello! Why'd you have to throw them in the pond?" Before he could return to the water, Mello grabbed onto him again and threw the boy down. "What's your problem?" Matt yelled.

"_You_ are!"

And then they went at it. Matt was uncharacteristically energetic and tried his best to block Mello's punches. He only managed to get in a few of his own blows, since he was clearly not a fighter. Eventually, Matt kicked him below the waist by accident, and seeing that the blonde was incapacitated, he took the chance to go back into the pond.

A few minutes later, Mello stood and asked, "Why do you care so much about those stupid goggles anyway?"

The redhead ignored him. Suddenly, he felt something hard under his foot. He quickly reached down and pulled out what were his goggles, covered in mud. After rinsing them off as best he could, he set them back over his eyes and sauntered out of the pond, not once looking at Mello.

The hotheaded blonde glared at him, but he kept his mouth shut and picked up the jar, following him back to the orphanage. He knew that once they returned, someone would rat them out, and they'd be sent to Roger's office. They were wet and battered. It was pretty hard not to notice that something had transpired.

Sure enough, after a few of the younger children had seen them, they were called to the miserable old man's office.

Roger looked at the sight before him with weary eyes. Matt had a bloody nose, multiple bruises that were beginning to show, and clothes covered in mud. He was also carrying his shoes in one hand. Mello looked less damaged, only sporting a split lip and a few scratches on his arms. Roger frowned at his drenched clothes, as they were dripping onto the floor in an annoying patter.

"The two of you are going to have to clean up the mess you made all over the floor on your way in."

Mello looked down at his own muddied shoes and realized that he should have removed them upon entering. He only created more of a hassle for himself.

"I don't even have to ask who started it," Roger stated while massaging the bridge of his nose. "You have been at each others' throats too frequently. I want you boys to be separated for a week, starting now. Mello, I shall place you in the solitary room."

The blonde narrowed his eyes, about to ask why it was him who had to move out, but he knew what Roger would say. Mello was the aggressive one, and thus needed to suffer the repercussions.

He had been in the solitary room once before, but never for so long. He was told that the room existed to serve the purpose of a "time out." It had driven him crazy. The room was merely bare walls, a bed with white linen, and a desk with no drawers. He was only allowed to bring so much in with him, which made the room even more sparse. A caretaker would check in on him to make sure he stayed put during the designated hours. The whole experience made him feel like a prisoner. And now he'd have to spend a week there. Mello instantly regretted losing his temper.

After they were sent out, Mello was escorted to his room to pack up what few belongings he could take with him, while Matt set to cleaning the floor. Once Mello was situated, the redhead was nearly finished. Letting out an exasperated sigh, he told Matt to just go play his games. He would clean the rest, since it was less time he'd have to spend in that dreary room. Other than that, the two didn't speak to each other.

--

The first few days were uneventful. Mello felt like punching holes in the walls of his room to relieve stress and also for the sake of adding some decor. Meanwhile, the redhead just played his games and ignored the piling homework. They seemed just fine without each other.

"Hey," an older boy called out.

Matt kept sauntering through the corridor. People never talked to him, so he didn't think twice about it.

"Hey!" This time the boy walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Don't ignore me."

Matt looked up at him, confusion written on his face, although it was hard to see it through his goggles.

"Where's Mello? You guys are always together."

"Solitary room," he answered simply.

"Then you better watch yourself," the dark-haired boy warned. "He's got a lot of enemies here. They wouldn't dare go after him 'cause he'd kick their asses, but they'd easily go after you."

Shrugging, he responded with, "Thanks for the warning."

"Take it seriously," the boy called after Matt as he walked away.

Matt_was_ taking it seriously, but he knew that there was nothing he could do about it. If the other children felt like bullying him, so be it. He was terrible at fighting and always turned down any offer Mello gave to teach him some basic moves. The gamer never cared enough to bother. And he didn't care if a few of the idiots decided to tease him just because Mello wasn't around.

"Yo! Dork!" a boy shouted, footsteps rushing towards Matt.

Ah, their "affectionate" nickname for him. It was the only reason he knew that he was the one being addressed.

After letting out a sigh, he turned around, deciding to humor the boy. He was mildly shocked to see three orphans, three sets of eyes smirking at him with amusement. _Maybe this is what that guy warned me about. Geez, this is stupid._

--

Even though Mello was in the solitary room, he still heard the gossip. Although, this time, he wondered if it was merely gossip. Word was going around that his lazy friend was being bullied by some of the older boys and their followers. It was just harmless teasing, though. They made fun of his hair or his goggles, petty things like that. He knew Matt could take it, so he brushed it off and continued to sulk in his confinement.

There was a knock on his door, which puzzled him. "What?" he barked. He technically wasn't allowed to have visitors. The only contact he had with the other children was during lessons.

His door cracked open, and a feminine voice said, "You need to help Matt. They're getting violent." Then the door shut, and he heard soft footsteps running down the hall.

It was Linda. She was the only girl brave enough to ever talk to him. And for her to say anything about the matter meant that it had progressed into something nasty.

Mello sighed. _Why didn't the idiot let me teach him some moves? Feh, like he'd use them anyway._

After flopping onto his bed, he stared at the ceiling and traced the water stains with his eyes. The blonde could never get used to boredom. If silence settled in, he would fidget and ramble on about beating Near one day. Matt would give the impression that he was only pretending to listen while his thumbs danced on the hand-held game, but Mello knew the redhead was paying attention to him.

He wouldn't admit it out loud, but he missed the boy's company. Although Matt annoyed him to no end at times, he was a true friend, the _only_ friend Mello had. Sure, to most it looked as though they were only leader and follower, two little brats who constantly pestered the other orphans to gain attention, but they were much closer than that. They were like true brothers. And now Mello was severely regretting getting into fights with him. He knew he could be unreasonable, conceited, aggressive, but acknowledging that didn't mean he'd change. In this situation, though, he wished he had stepped out of character for a brief moment and just apologized for acting like a jerk.

Well, Mello supposed he could make things right between them by making sure those idiots kept their hands off of Matt. He didn't believe he could actually apologize at that point, so he gave up on the idea. Instead, settled for the next best thing.

The blonde jumped off his bed and grabbed a random book from the floor, planning on using it as an excuse to leave. He was allowed to exit the room if it pertained to his studies, so if one of the caretakers asked him what he was doing out, he would lie, saying he had to ask his teacher a question.

Slowly walking through the halls, his eyes scanned for any sight of the redhead. Then he heard a group of boys laughing in the study. He peered in and was surprised to see Matt, weary with his eyes downcast. What was the boy even doing in the study? He never set foot in there. Rather than confronting the two who were snickering and pushing Matt around, he stood by the entrance and watched. Curiosity got the best of him, and he wanted to see if his friend would take a swing at them.

Suddenly, Matt was dealt a blow to the stomach, and he fell to his knees, the air knocked out of him. He was so sick of it all. Only a little over a day had passed since the bullying started, and the gamer was already drained. But whenever the thought about hitting back came to his mind, it was immediately dismissed. Who was he kidding? He couldn't win in a fight.

When Matt glanced up briefly, ignoring the taunts coming from the two above him, he saw a spot of yellow at the edge of the room. _Mello_, he thought with a twinge of anger. _This is all 'cause of _him_. If he wasn't so—_ Then he stopped. It wasn't right to only blame Mello. He was at fault just as much as his quick-tempered friend. But now that Mello was watching his pathetic beating, he deciding to take a shot at it.

Much to the orphans' surprise, Matt kicked one of them in the shin, stood up clumsily, and punched the other in the face.

The blonde grinned. _Way to go, Matt._ He walked into full view, expecting to see a reverse beat-down, but he was instead greeted with the sight of his friend being kneed in the face.

That was it.

He charged at them, a battle cry erupting from his throat. They were thrown off guard, thus being at the boy's mercy.

Matt wiped the blood form his nose and stared. He wondered why Mello came to his aid. Perhaps he just needed to vent his anger out on someone. He had given Mello too much credit in the past, and he wouldn't be surprised if he was wailing on the two orphans purely out of selfish needs.

Then Mello abruptly lost the upper hand and went crashing to the floor. It _was_ a two-on-one fight. Soon after, a caretaker rushed in and broke it up, while Matt just sat there on the floor, watching. All four of them were scolded briefly, then sent to Roger's office for a punishment to be settled.

"I know you two started it," Roger said, addressing the older boys, "and the penalty will be to wash the dishes for a week."

While it didn't sound harsh, remembering just how many people lived at Wammy's House made them cringe. Mello, smirking, thought it was a fitting judgment.

"You may leave." He waved them off, but suddenly said, "Not you, Mello, Matt." Once the other boys left, Roger sighed. Then he laced his fingers together and brought his hands up to his chin. "Tell me what happened."

"Those idiots were picking on him, and I stepped in," Mello explained curtly.

"Why did you step in?" He was rather curious. Since the boys hadn't been getting along, he was surprised that Mello wanted to help.

The blonde crossed his arms and scowled. He disliked being interrogated. Well, Roger simply wanted to know what had transpired, but the 11-year-old thought of most situations in an exaggerated way. "I don't like watching my friend getting hurt." Then he added, "I'm the only one who can do that to him."

"Mello, don't say such a thing," Roger chided.

Matt grinned and turned towards the blonde. "Sorry. I was being stupid."

"When?"

"Back at the pond."

"Ah. Well, you _should_ be sorry," he replied arrogantly.

"Mello!" Roger yelled.

The boys walked out, and Roger shouted after them. Then they started running, just in case he decided to come out and chase them. Although, with their injuries, they weren't able to run very fast. Once the two were far enough away, they stopped and fell to the floor, beginning to laugh. They'd be in for it later, but it didn't matter to them.

"We should . . . go to the infirmary," Matt said, trying to get a breath in.

Mello stood, having calmed down, and examined the various cuts and bumps on his body. "Nah, I can take care of myself." After realizing how close they were to their room—presently, only Matt's room—he walked in its direction, waving for the redhead to follow.

When they entered, Matt plopped onto his bed and watched the blonde rummage through the closet. Then he took his goggles off, finally noticing the pain throughout his face. Throwing them off to the side, Matt gently touched his nose to see if it was broken. Luckily, it wasn't. He was about to search for some tissues in order to take care of the blood when Mello grabbed his wrist and dragged him onto the floor.

"Ah! Be careful," Matt said, wincing. Then he saw the box Mello had. "Where'd you get a first-aid kit?"

Opening it, he replied, "I stole one from the infirmary a few years ago." And with that, he began to treat his friend's injuries, all the while mumbling under his breath that he'd find those two boys and kill them.

"How'd you learn?"

"Huh? Oh, I got hurt enough times that I learned from watching the nurse," Mello answered without looking up. He lifted Matt's shirt and saw large bruises starting to form on his abdomen. "You shouldn't make sudden movements for a while," he stated, letting the fabric fall back into place. "Your stomach's gonna hurt like hell."

Matt remained silent. He was shocked at how much his friend was helping him, especially at the fact that he was tending to him first. It was quite the opposite of how he'd been acting for the past few weeks. Mello had even interfered for his sake. He knew the boy wasn't always self-centered, but he would still get surprised from time to time when Mello did something considerate. The redhead supposed that in dire situations, Mello would become a true friend.

"Done."

"Thanks," Matt said, looking at the blonde's handiwork.

Mello shrugged and began tending to himself. While doing so, he said, "I really need to teach you self-defense. I mean, I was impressed that you at least tried, but you probably could've gotten them to leave you alone if you knew some basics. They went after you 'cause they know you're weak."

"I don't care. It's only been since yesterday, and it's never happened before that."

It was then that Mello understood why Matt was getting picked on. They were separated, so the idiots wouldn't have to deal with the explosive blonde. Because he's friends with Matt, they leave him alone. Mello never knew that he was the gamer's "protector," but the fact didn't bother him. Although, it made him realize that they shouldn't fight each other again, not to the point where they get in trouble.

"Hey, let's never be stupid like that," Mello said.

"You mean all the fighting?"

"Yeah."

Matt nodded. "It was boring without you around anyway."

After a brief hesitation, he agreed that he was bored as well. Then he finished up with the first-aid kit and shoved it off to the side.

They sat there in silence for a moment, both staring at the floor. Mello couldn't think of anything to say, and Matt just didn't feel like talking. It wasn't strange for the redhead to be taciturn or to be comfortable with tranquility. He enjoyed silence just as much as Mello's chatter, but Mello wasn't saying a word this time. Now that was more than strange.

"You should move your stuff back in, even though the week isn't up yet," Matt said as an attempt to make his friend at ease. He figured that if he started a conversation, Mello would pick it up and become talkative like usual.

"I'll do it later."

Matt frowned after realizing the blonde wasn't going to say any more. He felt slightly anxious at being the one to initiate a conversation when Mello was being uncooperative, but he had to give it a shot.

"Wanna do something?" Mello asked abruptly.

The redhead blinked. _I guess he bounced back._ "I wanna play my game."

He rolled his eyes. _Typical Matt._ "I meant something together."

The boy thought for a moment before suggesting playing a prank on Near. Most of the time, when they did something together, it involved trying to make Near look like a fool. Matt figured that was what Mello wanted to do, anyway.

"Whoa!_You're_ the one suggesting that?" He scratched his head. "I thought you were sick of that stuff."

"I want things to go back to normal."

Mello smiled. _Me too._ "Alright!" he yelled as he stood, but he immediately regretted getting up so quickly. Wincing, Mello sat back down. "It'd be stupid to move around with all these injuries, so let's just hang."

"Then I'm gonna play my game."

"Go ahead."

Matt furrowed his brow. He wasn't complaining? The gamer wondered if those boys hit Mello in the head. "You'll be bored."

"It's fine. I'll watch."

The redhead crawled over to where his hand-held game was lying on the floor and turned it on. "But you hate watching."

Trying to conceal his grin, Mello picked up a nearby pillow and threw it at the boy.

" . . . Ow."

"I don't care," he said as he crawled over to him. "That one game isn't so bad to watch."

"Okay."

After about 20 minutes of watching the game's screen, Mello fell asleep next to him on the floor. The atmosphere was just like how it used to be, soothing and playful. And because he wasn't doing anything but watching Matt effortlessly go through each level, he slowly became dead to the world.

When Matt finally won, he looked down at Mello and grinned. Then he grabbed the pillow that had been thrown at him earlier and joined his friend.

--

Mello bit off another chunk of the chocolate bar, fingering his rosary with his other hand. He had just finished going over their plan for the sixth time in his head. It was so risky, but since when had he ever played it safe? He didn't feel comfortable with bringing Matt into it, but the lethargic gamer insisted that he help. Mello could only hope that his partner would live through it.

"Hey, do you remember that time we were separated, and I got beat up?" Matt asked suddenly.

"What?" It came out harsher than he wanted it to, but Matt was used to his gruff nature.

"I think we were 11 or 12 years old." He took a long drag on his cigarette, then leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "I was getting beat up by some older kids, and you stepped in to help."

Mello looked upwards in thought. His memory was hazy, and he thanked the explosion for that, but it sounded vaguely familiar. After a moment of searching through the mental files labeled "Wammy," something odd came to him. "Frogs." He pointed at Matt with his chocolate bar. "Did frogs have anything to do with it?"

"Uh . . . Oh, yeah! That's how it started. We fought at the pond."

"Over frogs?"

He shook his head. "It was a little deeper than that, I think. Geez, we were stupid kids," he chuckled, throwing himself against the back of the couch. "We fought a lot and had such a hard time with apologizing."

"I miss those days," the blonde murmured. "There wasn't any of this Kira shit, L was still alive . . . The only thing I had to worry about was beating Near at those stupid tests."

"I miss them, too."

Mello snorted. "It's not like you've had a shitty life since then."

"You think I'm happy about Kira?"

"I thought you couldn't care less. You're only here to help me."

After staring at his friend for a moment, he shrugged and took another drag on his cigarette. "Y'know . . . we might not make it tomorrow."

Mello scowled and threw his chocolate bar down. "Why are you bringing that up now?"

"You wanna leave it as is? I think it'd be better if we have some kind of formal farewell, just in case—"

He shot up from his chair, stomped over to Matt, and grabbed him by the collar. "Don't you dare! Don't talk as if we're gonna get killed!"

"But the possibility is there, Mello," he replied calmly, flicking his cigarette into the ashtray on the table.

"Shut the hell up! We're not gonna die! Everything will go according to plan!"

Matt reached up and took his goggles off. Then, looking directly into Mello's blue eyes, he said, "I'm glad you're my friend."

He was taken aback by the statement, but he didn't have much time to contemplate it, for Matt did something that he had never even attempted before. He felt the teenager's arms wrap around him in a loose hug, and his forehead rested lightly on his good shoulder. Mello's eyes widened. After a few seconds, he regained his senses and released the redhead's collar. Then he tried to shove the boy away, but Matt's grip immediately tightened.

"What-what the fuck are you doing?" the blonde shouted, getting rough.

"Geez, calm down," Matt responded with a hint of irritation. "It's called a hug. I realized that we never once did this, and I think now's a good time, since—"

"Shut up!" he bellowed, finally yanking himself free. "Just shut up! Quit talking as if we're gonna die!"

Then, without warning, Matt balled up a fist and punched Mello in the face. When was the last time the lazy redhead hit him? It shocked Mello enough that he stopped yelling and gawked at his friend, sitting himself on the edge of the table.

"Yeah, I can get angry, too." His facial expression and tone clearly stated that. Before continuing, he reaching for his cigarettes and lighter that were sitting beside the ashtray. He lit one, but didn't put it in his mouth. Instead, Matt stared at it, his expression softening into one of fatigue. "Remember? You finally convinced me to learn some basic moves a few years before you left. I've never had to use one until now. Funny, right? I use one on _you_." A corner of his mouth turned upwards in a half smile, but his eyes held a faint glint of sadness. He put out the unused cigarette. For once, he really just didn't feel like smoking. "Sorry for hitting you. I just wanted you to calm down."

"It's fine," Mello replied quietly. He was still in mild shock from Matt's outburst.

"Why are you so worked up about the thought of dying? I pictured you as one of those people who aren't afraid of death."

"I'm not. It's just that . . . "

"Yeah?"

Mello let out an exasperated sigh and got to his feet. It was too embarrassing to say. "Never mind."

"No. What is it?"

Matt wasn't giving up that easily. If he wasn't afraid of death, then— Suddenly, he figured it out. Mello feared that his childhood friend would meet his demise. How . . . out of character for him. To be fair, Mello _had_ always cared about the lethargic gamer. It was just that he very rarely made it known.

"Can't you drop it?" He was at the window, staring out of it as an excuse not to look at Matt.

"Mello?"

The blonde closed his eyes in growing frustration. He was ready to strangle the teen. "What?" he snapped.

"Do you sometimes wish that you had a normal life, or at least the one we had as kids?"

He snorted and peered over his shoulder at him. "You call that life 'normal'?"

"Well, it's more normal than the one we're living now."

"Alright, I'll give you that, but Wammy's House isn't a place most kids would want to grow up in."

Matt slouched and closed his eyes. "Yeah, I know."

The blonde stared at him for a moment, then sighed and walked over to the couch. He knew Matt just wanted some peace between them before they carried out their life-threatening plan, and he felt somewhat guilty for acting up. For once, Mello would try to act like a composed individual. And with that in mind, he sat himself next to Matt and finally answered his question.

"I _do_ sometimes wish I had a normal life."

The gamer cracked an eye open.

"But then it'd be pretty boring, wouldn't it? I'd like to have the kind of 'normal' we had as kids, though. I really miss those days when I think about them."

Matt grinned slightly and looked up at the yellowing ceiling. "Why not go back to those days for a bit?" He picked up his hand-held game and flicked it on.

At first, Mello wasn't sure what he had suggested, but when the teenager remained silent, fully concentrating on his game, he realized what he meant. They often sat together as kids while one played on the hand-held game and the other watched. Usually, Matt was the one playing, but Mello tried a few times, often throwing the device to the floor in exasperation and earning a whine from the redhead. Although Mello gave the impression of being utterly bored, he actually enjoyed the calm atmosphere and simply lazing around with his friend. They occasionally broke into an argument after Mello would try to tell Matt what to do in the game, but he only did that to liven things up. Those moments perfectly described their relationship, tranquility turned into immediate aggression.

Mello slouched and crossed his arms over his stomach, staring at the glowing screen with tired eyes. Why was he suddenly so exhausted? Well, it was rather late. He might as well get a decent amount of sleep, considering what was going to happen the next day—technically, later that day.

Peering over at the blonde, Matt chuckled and said, "Having trouble keeping your eyes open, huh?"

"Shut up," he replied without much effort. "I can sleep wherever I want to."

Matt nodded, but his friend's eyes were already closed. _Just like old times_, he thought with a trace of misery. _We'll probably never be like this again._ He shut the game off and set it gently onto the table. Just taking one glance at Mello, and he knew the young man was asleep. Matt hated sleeping on the dilapidated couch, but the haunting thought in the back of his mind refused to let him move.

They had a good chance of dying, so why not take advantage of the situation? Why not let pleasant memories of their "normal" life fill their heads before running into the fires of Hell?

* * *

I hope I kept them in character. (Well, it's hard to tell with Matt, since we barely know anything about him.) Their friendship is somewhat odd, but I think it's strong enough to survive anything. I hope you enjoyed it. -smiles-

Minna-san gokigenyou.


End file.
